Up first is a questionable blend of "Blade Runner" the superb dystopian Sci-fi thriller film directed by Ridley Scott and starring Harrison Ford and the British TV programme "Last of the Summer Wine" The inexplicably longest running sitcom (shitcom?) in the world. This spirit crushing portrayal of existential boredom in the countryside, centered around a trio of immature aimless old geezers wandering around a Yorkshire village. Most episodes involved the bored shitless 3 either: careening perilously down a hill in a poorly constructed vehicle, attempting/hoping to catch a glimpse of an old lady's wrinkly stockings or being chased by an outraged woman. For some reason I've had the same thought for years:
What if Last of the Summer Wine based an episode on Blade Runner?
Imagine the haunting melody of BR but in a LOTSW style, all cheerful and jaunty. The camera pans first over the Yorkshirescape, then the village, finally resting on a billboard for Barret Homes with the tagline "Start a new life". This week our trio hear that there are 3 confused escaped nursing home residents at-large in the area. They of course decide to track them down having nothing better to do. Lots of adventure and chases involving boxes on wheels ensue. Eventually two of the escapees are caught: one gets hit by a milk float while trying to chase a balloon, another captured attempting to buy 20 packs of Werthers Originals. The tall one corners the final resident who happens to be a fascinating and attractive woman named Rachael. He falls in love with her, sheltering her from the authorities and his friends. Rachael was once a city lawyer and believes she still is. The tall one can't bring himself to tell her the truth, deciding to run off with her in his Morris Minor. In the last scene the Gromit voice one turns to the tramp one and makes the "Too bad she won't live" speech instead saying "Too bad she won't remember" meaning she may eventually remember nothing without her meds, but does it really matter when all any of us have is the moment?
Yes I know a load of horse shit, I've bored myself now. Please feel free to comment with your own ideas for a Sci-fi spruce up and stay tuned for the next abomination.